July - September, 2007

September 24

Dad is sounding a bit depressed this week. He is probably spending too much time with Mom, and so sadly his mood is affecting her and she is quite agitated, which is making him feel worse. Pretty much like last week.

On a positive note, one of my parents' dearest friends volunteers at the nursing home. She works with the recreation and activities department. A couple of times a week she will come and get Mom and take her to some of the activity classes. Mom is really enjoying this because she loves to be in a social environment. Her own unit offers activities as well. So, between the two, she has a fairly active social calendar.

Special Note:
Volunteering is really a gift that we can give ourselves. When you witness the happiness that you can give to others by our help actions...there is no feeling quite like it!

Blessings,
Heather

September 17

Mom is settling into nursing home life fairly well. She still has her "moments", and thus good days and not so good days.

Dad on the other hand is having quite a difficult time adjusting to their new life. Because of this, he is often sad and negative about Mom's situation. (Alzheimer's patients are very sensitive to the emotions surrounding them.) So Dad's frame of mind is often reflected in Mom. And when he sees that she is sad and agitated, it makes him worse. And so on... it's a vicious circle.

I try telling Dad that it is essential for him to stay as upbeat and positive as possible. Not just for Mom's sake but for the other residents and most importantly for himself.

Easier said than done!

Special Note:
If you know someone who has just placed a loved one in a care facility, stay in close touch. It is more important than ever that they feel supported.

Blessings,
Heather

September 10

Well that call came. On September 4th, Dad received a call that a bed had become available at one of the two nursing homes that provided protective care. And although it was not our first choice, it was recommended that we take it to "get in the system".

I called Westjet to see if they could do anything to change my October ticket to allow me to get home as soon as possible. Westjet was wonderful! They were able to change my ticket and get me out on the last seat sale seat available for that flight. But most of all, they were so genuinely kind and thoughtful of my situation. I really appreciated that!

I arrived home at supper time on Wednesday the 5th. Dad, Mom and I had a lovely supper out and then a quiet evening at home.

The next morning, Dad gently told Mom that she would be going into the hospital for some tests and observation. (He was at a loss on how to tell her what was really happening because the thought of putting her, his wife, in a nursing home was breaking his heart.)

We arrived at the nursing home at 10:50 a.m. and by 11:15 a.m. Mom was settled in. Then the real "fun" began. We met with the nursing staff, the social worker, the financial officer and the administrator. Everyone was very nice, but we were surprised at how involved the process was. Live and learn.

Dad was advised to stay away for the first few days to allow Mom time to settle in. Thankfully, I was permitted to visit her twice a day to oversee her transition. But more importantly to provide Dad with assurances that all was going well. And it was!!!!

Much to my surprise Mom adjusted really well. I believe she thought she was back in university. (A time in her life that she so thoroughly enjoyed.) It was truly wonderful to see her introducing herself to people and making friends.

The nurses were amazing. It takes a very special person to do the work of a caregiver.

Special Note:
Be grateful for all the caregivers, professional and otherwise.

Blessings,
Heather

September 3

I hope you all had a good summer. Ours was very good! Busy, with lots of visitors. And fun because we have not all been together for quite awhile. Also, the weather was great. So, that is like the "cherry" on top!

Even so, Dad and I met with various health professionals to try and put in place long term care placement for Mom for the fall.

Dad had faced the reality that he would not be up to another long winter caring for Mom at home. It was determined that Mom would need to be placed in a nursing home that provided a protective care unit, as Mom is still so mobile. Thankfully, her specialist met with my Dad, Mom and me in early August and filed a report to recommend that she be placed on a priority wait list. He had some serious concerns for Dad's well being and capacity to care for Mom at this level for much longer.

A social worker came to the home of my parents to do an assessment for community health. To my knowledge this was to confirm the recommendation for priority status. It was after this meeting that Dad and I realized it would probably not be much longer before we received a call that a bed would be available.

It's good to be back and sharing my story again with all of you. It really helps! I hope you still enjoy hearing it.

Blessings,
Heather

P.S. I am enclosing a photo of Mom and I that my cousin Liz took of us at the beach near our cottage.

July 26

I am sorry that I have not written in my "diary" for several weeks now. I have no excuses, except to say that I have been wonderfully busy with a work contract, my mother-in-law visiting, mountain hiking and of course our thrilling Stampede!

In a few days I will be going East to spend the summer with my Mom and Dad. I am anxious about going because during one of our recent daily phone conversations, I made the comment "well if the spirit moves you", and my Mom replied, "I wish I had a spirit". It makes me sad as I have always felt that Mom has moments when she is cognizant of her situation. And I believe this was one of them.

Mom has been getting worse over the last two months and my Dad has struggled with the realization that it is time for Mom to go into a nursing home, as he is simply unable to care for her properly in their home. She will quite likely be in a nursing home facility by early fall.

So my sister-in-law and I are taking Mom and Dad's two grandsons home to the family cottage by the sea to make some lasting summer memories for the boys to have of their grandparents - and for Mom to be surrounded by her family who loves her and to have some fun (Mom loves to laugh and have fun!).

Special Note:
I hope you have a wonderful summer. And try to help your family member or friend with Alzheimer's to have a special summer too. "See" you in September!

Blessings,
Heather